I think I'm starting to finally show a little bump. As usual, I've been a little slow on this one. My clothes almost all still fit, and no one at work who I haven't told has even looked at me sideways.
Twice in my life, I have felt like I could feel things happening with my body that I had never felt before. One was during the 2007 ALCS, Red Sox great comeback vs. the Indians, when I swear I could actually feel the blood coursing through my veins (talk about high blood pressure). The second time was today.
I've been eating and/or hungry almost non-stop since Friday afternoon. This morning, we went out to the garden early, trying to beat the heat. When we got back, my belly was aching a little. Not like a food poisoning belly ache. Like a-- I've done too many exercises with my lower abs-- belly ache. Except that I haven't exercised in the past 3 days. This was honestly a brand-new feeling I've never had in my life. I think that I am actually feeling the gentle tug of my lower abs expanding as my belly grows. Lots of people say they popped overnight. Is it my time? I hope so. I'm over 4 months, and you still wouldn't be able to tell anything was different unless you see me every day.
The baby has also started moving. It's pretty exciting. She has been pretty active. I can feel both the "butterflies" feeling where she seems to be just swimming around in there, and also distinct punches and kicks, possibly headbutts. I have heard that babies tend to be more active when the mother is resting or sedentary, and to move less when she is active around because the mother's movement lulls them. This seems about right for our little one. She is very active when I am sitting in my chair at work all day not moving, but less active when I'm in the garden or otherwise active. This weekend, she hasn't been moving very much at all. I think she's concentrating on growing. But she did raise her fist on Friday night after Youk's walk-off home run in the 11th, and had a couple of kicks during yesterday's game. She may be Youk's youngest fan, since it always seems to be when he's doing something that she goes nuts.
VH is very cute. Every time I tell him she's moving, he puts his hand on my belly. He really, really wants to feel something and is so jealous that I get to feel it and he doesn't. He says he wants to get kicked too. :) So I've been putting on the pocket fetal doppler more often so he can at least hear her heart beat, and assure him that eventually, he'll be able to feel it too. At that point, I'll probably be wishing she would stop!
And by the way, no we haven't found out the sex. We just keep calling her "she".
4.14.2009
Short people get pregnant too!
You've seen quite a few posts on here about how I want to be a stylish pregnant woman and mommy, they way I haven't been before. Well, over the last two weeks I have made my first couple of shopping excursions for maternity clothes. It seems that being a stylish mama if you are under 5 feet tall is just as difficult as being a stylish young petite not-pregnant woman. Apparently, the maternity clothes-makers are even less aware that there are short pregnant women!
On lots of blogs, and from other people, I hear about how women pass maternity clothes back and forth. That's something I don't think I'm going to be able to do-- I've never really been able to share or trade clothes with my friends because I am so much shorter. I did inherit a blouse from a friend who is even tinier than me (yes, there are people who are tinier than me, and I am not even talking about a "little person"). She said it was a blouse she hardly wears because it makes her look pregnant, so she thought it might work. I was able to wear it a couple of times but of course, my chest expanded much earlier than my belly, so anything with buttons has become a problem.
The fortunate thing is that my belly still isn't very visible. This, combined with the fact that most of my pants were too big for me to begin with, means that I am having no trouble with my pants (yet). I did buy two "bella band" devices. These are basically just bands of lycra that you put around your waist. You can wear your pre-pregnancy pants without buttoning or zippering them, and you put the lycra on top so they don't fall down, they lay flat, and no one can see that they are unzipped. It's a cool concept. I got one knock-off from Motherhood Maternity ("one size fits most") and one from Target "from the makers of the original Bella Band", which actually came S-M-L. I like the concept but I'm not sure if it's going to work for me. The bands are so wide that they are literally like a tube top on me-- they go from my chest all the way down to my hips. I know that once my belly starts to get bigger, it will take up some of that fabric, but I am afraid that once my belly gets big enough to take up enough fabric that I won't be able to wear the pre-pregnancy pants anymore anyway! But we'll see...
From the recently pregnant on here, any suggestions?
The upsides to this: this is a temporary state, at least. And really, it's not NEARLY as complicated as trying to buy baby stuff! We've been shopping for that recently too and it makes my head spin.
On lots of blogs, and from other people, I hear about how women pass maternity clothes back and forth. That's something I don't think I'm going to be able to do-- I've never really been able to share or trade clothes with my friends because I am so much shorter. I did inherit a blouse from a friend who is even tinier than me (yes, there are people who are tinier than me, and I am not even talking about a "little person"). She said it was a blouse she hardly wears because it makes her look pregnant, so she thought it might work. I was able to wear it a couple of times but of course, my chest expanded much earlier than my belly, so anything with buttons has become a problem.
The fortunate thing is that my belly still isn't very visible. This, combined with the fact that most of my pants were too big for me to begin with, means that I am having no trouble with my pants (yet). I did buy two "bella band" devices. These are basically just bands of lycra that you put around your waist. You can wear your pre-pregnancy pants without buttoning or zippering them, and you put the lycra on top so they don't fall down, they lay flat, and no one can see that they are unzipped. It's a cool concept. I got one knock-off from Motherhood Maternity ("one size fits most") and one from Target "from the makers of the original Bella Band", which actually came S-M-L. I like the concept but I'm not sure if it's going to work for me. The bands are so wide that they are literally like a tube top on me-- they go from my chest all the way down to my hips. I know that once my belly starts to get bigger, it will take up some of that fabric, but I am afraid that once my belly gets big enough to take up enough fabric that I won't be able to wear the pre-pregnancy pants anymore anyway! But we'll see...
From the recently pregnant on here, any suggestions?
The upsides to this: this is a temporary state, at least. And really, it's not NEARLY as complicated as trying to buy baby stuff! We've been shopping for that recently too and it makes my head spin.
3.20.2009
Second Trimester Style
In part, I am excited for the belly because it will be proof to the world that I really am pregnant. So many times I have wanted to ask a perfectly fit 20-something man if he would be willing to give me his seat on the metro because I think I might collapse from exhaustion at any moment, but I haven't because I am sure he would think I was totally lame and if I say I'm pregnant, no one would believe me.
The other reason for wanting the belly-- New Clothes! I haven't bought new clothes in a very long time. Mostly because I am too cheap. But recently, it's been because I know I won't be able to wear them for very long so it doesn't seem like a great investment. Once I have a belly, I will have a NEED for new clothes and then the expense will be justified. Can't wait.
Even though I am totally not stylish normally, I am hoping to use this life-changing event to become the modern and stylish woman I have always wanted to be, starting with pretty maternity clothes. I have been following this blog of a woman who appears to be about my age, who's been blogging about her style for 5 years. Got pregnant last spring, had a baby in January, so now she has a LOT of posts about maternity and nursing fashion. If you're interested, you can check out a guest post she did here. She's good-- she's how I found out that Old Navy carries petites online. Her regular blog is here.
The other reason for wanting the belly-- New Clothes! I haven't bought new clothes in a very long time. Mostly because I am too cheap. But recently, it's been because I know I won't be able to wear them for very long so it doesn't seem like a great investment. Once I have a belly, I will have a NEED for new clothes and then the expense will be justified. Can't wait.
Even though I am totally not stylish normally, I am hoping to use this life-changing event to become the modern and stylish woman I have always wanted to be, starting with pretty maternity clothes. I have been following this blog of a woman who appears to be about my age, who's been blogging about her style for 5 years. Got pregnant last spring, had a baby in January, so now she has a LOT of posts about maternity and nursing fashion. If you're interested, you can check out a guest post she did here. She's good-- she's how I found out that Old Navy carries petites online. Her regular blog is here.
Leaving the first trimester...
I am celebrating the last week of my first trimester. This is another bizarre artefact of the way pregnancy weeks are counted, since they count from before conception. So you would think that the first trimester would be 12 weeks or approximately 3 months (hence, "trimester"). Well, you would be wrong. The first trimester is actually 14 weeks. The last two I think are only 12 weeks. So at 13 weeks and one day, I am on my way to Trimester #2 and looking forward to it.
It's amazing, it's like someone plugged my electricity back in. I have noticed that in the past week or so, I am much less tired. I had a work trip to North Carolina last week, one to Atlanta this week, and one to Cincinnati next week, but I am no where near as tired as I would have expected to be 3 or 4 weeks ago when I was sleeping all weekend, every weekend. My mood is better although I do get emotional all of a sudden and for absolutely no reason. This has only happened a few times and seems to be linked to being overtired. The good part is that it has not unintentionally misdirected at VH, yet. :) I'm sure that time will come sooner than either of us wants it to.
My stomach has been a little bit perkier and more receptive to different kinds of food (I even had chicken for lunch today!), and I am usually able to concentrate a bit better than I have been in the past few weeks. So, overall, this second trimester thing could be good. Wooly Bear, I know you are suffering but it gives you something to look forward to very soon.
And now, a Baby Status Update: We used the home fetal doppler last night to listen to the heartbeat. She's still in there but was hiding. I guess maybe she was resting when we were bothering her. According to BabyCenter.com, she's a whole 3inches at this point! No wonder my belly started to pop a little. She has fingerprints and can pee. I've been trying to figure out the logistics of the last part because they didn't cover that one in my reproductive health classes in grad school. I need to get myself a book...
It's amazing, it's like someone plugged my electricity back in. I have noticed that in the past week or so, I am much less tired. I had a work trip to North Carolina last week, one to Atlanta this week, and one to Cincinnati next week, but I am no where near as tired as I would have expected to be 3 or 4 weeks ago when I was sleeping all weekend, every weekend. My mood is better although I do get emotional all of a sudden and for absolutely no reason. This has only happened a few times and seems to be linked to being overtired. The good part is that it has not unintentionally misdirected at VH, yet. :) I'm sure that time will come sooner than either of us wants it to.
My stomach has been a little bit perkier and more receptive to different kinds of food (I even had chicken for lunch today!), and I am usually able to concentrate a bit better than I have been in the past few weeks. So, overall, this second trimester thing could be good. Wooly Bear, I know you are suffering but it gives you something to look forward to very soon.
And now, a Baby Status Update: We used the home fetal doppler last night to listen to the heartbeat. She's still in there but was hiding. I guess maybe she was resting when we were bothering her. According to BabyCenter.com, she's a whole 3inches at this point! No wonder my belly started to pop a little. She has fingerprints and can pee. I've been trying to figure out the logistics of the last part because they didn't cover that one in my reproductive health classes in grad school. I need to get myself a book...
3.16.2009
Why do I call her "she" all the time?
A reader (can't believe anyone actually reads this) recently reminded me that I had said I would write about why I-- and actually, both of us-- always refer to the baby as a girl. This could be a VERY dangerous habit for us to get into. I did at one point apologize to the fetus, in case it turns out to be a boy. I don't think he'll hold it against me. I haven't bought anything baby-pink for him to wear yet, so it's not that bad.
It all started a LONG time ago, a few years ago when we started talking about the "someday" when we would have kids. I don't know why, but I and everyone around us just had this hunch that our first child would be a girl. We've stuck to it. And when I came out of my friend the MD's bathroom in January, holding the piece of white plastic with the line through it, one of the first thing out of VH's mouth was a girl's name. (NB: We had messed around for a couple of years throwing different girl baby names out there. The one he threw out kind of came out of nowhere. It may end up being the baby's name, just because that's weird and maybe it some sort of fate acting. But we have by no means decided on a name. I don't believe in choosing the baby's name until you've seen the baby.)
Lately, VH has been less inclined to call it a girl. Maybe he's starting to doubt our initial instinct, or maybe he's just trying not to assume, I'm not sure. But my whole family still refers to it as a girl, and my mom told me that my gramma hasn't been so certain about the sex of a baby since a second cousin of mine was born 40-something years ago-- and she was right then. I am trying to be better about being gender neutral but I haven't been too successful.
This Saturday I have another monthly appointment. I will be 17 weeks. I think they are going to give me the referral for the 16-20 week ultrasound. That is the first time they can tell the sex of the baby. They can't always tell. The baby has to be cooperating and willing to show them what they need to see. But we will have to decide very soon whether we want to know. This is still up in the air. Thoughts, opinions, advice? Take this opportunity, because on this topic, I haven't really been asking too many opinions!
NOTE: I started this post on 3/16 but finished it on 4/14-- it still posted under the original date so sorry for the lack of chronological order!
It all started a LONG time ago, a few years ago when we started talking about the "someday" when we would have kids. I don't know why, but I and everyone around us just had this hunch that our first child would be a girl. We've stuck to it. And when I came out of my friend the MD's bathroom in January, holding the piece of white plastic with the line through it, one of the first thing out of VH's mouth was a girl's name. (NB: We had messed around for a couple of years throwing different girl baby names out there. The one he threw out kind of came out of nowhere. It may end up being the baby's name, just because that's weird and maybe it some sort of fate acting. But we have by no means decided on a name. I don't believe in choosing the baby's name until you've seen the baby.)
Lately, VH has been less inclined to call it a girl. Maybe he's starting to doubt our initial instinct, or maybe he's just trying not to assume, I'm not sure. But my whole family still refers to it as a girl, and my mom told me that my gramma hasn't been so certain about the sex of a baby since a second cousin of mine was born 40-something years ago-- and she was right then. I am trying to be better about being gender neutral but I haven't been too successful.
This Saturday I have another monthly appointment. I will be 17 weeks. I think they are going to give me the referral for the 16-20 week ultrasound. That is the first time they can tell the sex of the baby. They can't always tell. The baby has to be cooperating and willing to show them what they need to see. But we will have to decide very soon whether we want to know. This is still up in the air. Thoughts, opinions, advice? Take this opportunity, because on this topic, I haven't really been asking too many opinions!
NOTE: I started this post on 3/16 but finished it on 4/14-- it still posted under the original date so sorry for the lack of chronological order!
12 1/2 Weeks
When I get the pictures off my camera (probably tonight), I will send an update of what my belly looks like. Can't really tell anything yet when I have clothes on but it kind of looks a little like maybe I ate too much. I have noticed that just in the past week, I can't suck it in as much as I've always been able to. There's just a little round area that won't go in. So I guess that's the baby. Maybe no one really cares about whether I have a baby bump yet but I know that when my friends were pregnant, their bellies fascinated me. I tried not to let on but am not really good at faking. My first friend who had a baby never sent me a single picture of herself pregnant, even though I asked for them. I'm sure it's just because it wasn't really that huge a deal, I really hope it wasn't because she felt badly about her baby belly. I never had the guts to ask her. Since I was around My Friend The MD a lot when she was pregnant, I never had to ask for a picture and she even let me touch the belly on occasion. I think that for me, it's visual proof that there is a living being inside there and it makes it more real. It's very hard for me to really "feel pregnant" when I don't really look much different. But anyway, you can go back to my first post and compare my body at 5 weeks with my body at 12 1/2 weeks. Some of the change I think is just flab since I have been so tired over the past few weeks I have done very little exercise.
3.12.2009
I got a picture!
I did decide to have the nuchal translucency screen. It is a non-invasive test where they measure this space that shows up behind the baby's neck on the ultrasound. You can see it, it looks like a little pouch shaped like a banana. Apparently, this is a little sac behind the baby's neck that is filled with fluid. Babies with certain chromosomal abnormalities (including Down Syndrome) have more fluid than babies who do not. It is a screen, not a diagnostic test, which means that you can show more fluid, which means you are at higher risk, but they can't actually tell if your baby has a chromosomal abnormality without doing an invasive diagnostic test. We are both fortunate to not have any close family history of chromosomal abnormalities, so we are low risk. They combine the fluid measurement with a blood test to check for the levels of two hormones; together, the two test results can determine an elevated risk.
In addition to this, they take pictures of the baby and measure the baby's growth, which helps them pin down fetal age and due date. They also make a visual check for the heartbeat and listen to it to determine the heart rate. They do an internal and external ultrasound and take internal pictures of the ovaries and measure the cervix. I think all of this stuff is really cool, but then again, I have a degree in reproductive health, so I'm probably pretty abnormal.
We are not concerned about really knowing about chromosomal problems or other types of screens, just like we probably will ask to not be told the baby's sex. We are not people who feel the need to use all the technology just because it's there--nature will take it's course and there are some things we will just find out when the baby is born. But, that said, there were two reasons I decided to do this test. First, I wanted a picture, which is really stupid and an irresponsible use of healthcare dollars. But I wanted one. Secondly, I am hoping that seeing the baby on the screen, knowing she's in there, and knowing that her growth is progressing as it should will help the nightmares go away. Hearing the heartbeat worked for about three nights. I'm hoping to get a week out of this one!
The growth is fine, exactly 12 weeks which is exactly what the original dating said. Heart rate 167, which she said is normal. The baby was moving around so much it was incredible. I know I'm not supposed to feel her moving yet but I swear, every once in a while at night, when I'm just lying still in bed, I can feel things happening. This confirmed that for me-- she is dancing to her own music in there! The technician had trouble getting pictures because she was moving so much. The nuchal translucency looks good, she said, but we won't really know elevated risk until they get the blood test back. Overall, this was a great experience, completely non-invasive (although the internal exam was a little intimidating-- explaining why would be TMI but anyone who has had it knows what I am talking about) and low-risk (unlike amnioscentisis), and I have a picture!
3.05.2009
Comments, anyone?
If you're all just stalking, that's fine. I'm a frequent blog stalker as well. But, what I don't get is those of you who read the blog and write emails to me to respond. What am I missing? I love your emails and I love for you to share your thoughts with me-- but the whole point of the blog is that you would POST your comments, not email them. Why don't you like to comment? Please comment (or send me an email) and let me know what the deal is...
3.03.2009
Every day brings something new
I know the title is a cliche, but for pretty much the first time in my life, this is true. Sorry for waiting so long to post, but these past two and a half weeks have been the most difficult so far. I was feeling really horrible for about 10 days-- lots of nausea (but still no vomiting, just that nausea where you wish you would but you don't) and horrible headaches. By the end of that, I also started coming down with a cold and slept for an entire Sunday and still didn't feel much better. The dizziness that had mostly subsided is back in greater and lesser degrees depending on the day, how hungry I am, and how much sleep I've gotten. And exhaustion is a constant-- took a nap Friday, two Saturday, one Sunday, and two yesterday (I worked from home because of the snow and actually did a lot of work between the two naps).
Food is good and bad-- chicken in particular is difficult, but that's not surprising because it has never really been my favorite. But the dry texture and the way it smells when it's cooking is grossing me out. Ice cream, which I don't usually eat in winter, goes down easy and is becoming a nightly ritual. This is not good for VH. :) Every day, there is a new food experience. At first, lunch was a bit of a problem. Now dinner is getting harder but at lunch I am absolutely ravenous. I definitely eat my extra 350 calories before 3 PM. And most recently, I've been able to eat dinner but then feel absolutely awful as soon as I'm done. The most annoying thing about all of this is the inconsistency. I never know what to expect when I wake up or sit down to eat.
Enough complaining, that's the physical status report. The extremely cool thing that happened was that I went to the doctor two Saturdays ago and heard the baby's heartbeat! The anxiety-ridden nightmares went away for three whole nights after that. At least I know she's alive in there. The midwife was looking for her all on one side and said "This is where they like to hang out". Nothing. So she started to move the doppler around, and of course my baby is in the exact opposite spot of where the midwife expected to find her. Like mother, like daughter! We are very happy that the baby seems to be doing well. Special thank yous and hugs to my friend the MD for going with me to the appointment and for loaning us a personal doppler so VH can hear the heartbeat too. We haven't gotten a gel yet so we can do that, but we will very soon.
VH is still being more supportive and helpful than I had ever imagined possible, to the point of making me feel bad for being a lazy bum and neglecting him and the apartment. Unfortunately, we were in a bit of disarray during these two weeks that I wasn't feeling well because I was not able to do anything at all, and VH is going through some tough times at work. He had to work when I had my appointment, which was really disappointing, and has been working Saturday and Sunday every weekend which is exhausting for both of us. But we're working on it.
Many other people have been so helpful and generous lately too and I really want to thank them, particularly my three work friends who have not only guarded my secret but have cared for me and given me presents!
I have so many more things to write about but this post is already super-long. I promise the next one will be less about nausea and more about something interesting. Up next: Genetic testing-- Will we do it just for the ultrasound photo? and Why do we keep referring to it as a girl?
Food is good and bad-- chicken in particular is difficult, but that's not surprising because it has never really been my favorite. But the dry texture and the way it smells when it's cooking is grossing me out. Ice cream, which I don't usually eat in winter, goes down easy and is becoming a nightly ritual. This is not good for VH. :) Every day, there is a new food experience. At first, lunch was a bit of a problem. Now dinner is getting harder but at lunch I am absolutely ravenous. I definitely eat my extra 350 calories before 3 PM. And most recently, I've been able to eat dinner but then feel absolutely awful as soon as I'm done. The most annoying thing about all of this is the inconsistency. I never know what to expect when I wake up or sit down to eat.
Enough complaining, that's the physical status report. The extremely cool thing that happened was that I went to the doctor two Saturdays ago and heard the baby's heartbeat! The anxiety-ridden nightmares went away for three whole nights after that. At least I know she's alive in there. The midwife was looking for her all on one side and said "This is where they like to hang out". Nothing. So she started to move the doppler around, and of course my baby is in the exact opposite spot of where the midwife expected to find her. Like mother, like daughter! We are very happy that the baby seems to be doing well. Special thank yous and hugs to my friend the MD for going with me to the appointment and for loaning us a personal doppler so VH can hear the heartbeat too. We haven't gotten a gel yet so we can do that, but we will very soon.
VH is still being more supportive and helpful than I had ever imagined possible, to the point of making me feel bad for being a lazy bum and neglecting him and the apartment. Unfortunately, we were in a bit of disarray during these two weeks that I wasn't feeling well because I was not able to do anything at all, and VH is going through some tough times at work. He had to work when I had my appointment, which was really disappointing, and has been working Saturday and Sunday every weekend which is exhausting for both of us. But we're working on it.
Many other people have been so helpful and generous lately too and I really want to thank them, particularly my three work friends who have not only guarded my secret but have cared for me and given me presents!
I have so many more things to write about but this post is already super-long. I promise the next one will be less about nausea and more about something interesting. Up next: Genetic testing-- Will we do it just for the ultrasound photo? and Why do we keep referring to it as a girl?
2.12.2009
Women Must Be Suckers Part 2
I just had to update last night's post immediately. I was just skimming CNN.com, and right on the front page (albeit below the cyber-fold) is an article from Parenting.com (among other articles apparently from CNN partners). The title: 12 Pregnancy Must Haves. This really got me interested, given that I spent time last night writing about how unnecessary most of the supposed "must-haves" are. So I click on it. Pregnancy Must Have #1? A 12-Pack of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Deluxe Dinner. So convenient, you can even order right from the Parenting.com website! Way to promote good pregnancy nutrition, folks! Just what the baby needs. I can see fulfilling a craving now and again, and when I felt pretty nauseous last Sunday and needed to eat something bland for lunch I have to admit I made a box of Whole Grain Mac & Cheese, but a 12-pack of the dinner size?
Other wonderful recommendations: a 2-lb bag of dum-dum lollipops (they help with nausea, apparently), a $30 organic skin cream for stretch marks (Palmer's cocoa butter is what, like $8 at CVS? And has been working for women since its inception), and a box of 36 King Size Hersheys Milk Chocolate bars because chocolate "is a great pick me up!". So is cocaine, I hear, why don't they just recommend that too?
The belly band and the body pillow both make an appearance, and dental floss as well, which I guess you will need more of if you are indulging in Mac & Cheese, Dum Dums, & Hershey Bars on a regular basis (really though, because of hormone irregularities, pregnant women are at higher risk of gingivitis and need to have good oral hygiene). These are more benign suggestions. But I really hope not too many women take articles like these as license to do things that might be harmful to themselves in the long run or just cost them a lot of money they don't need to spend.
Always looking at the health standpoint, can't help it.
Other wonderful recommendations: a 2-lb bag of dum-dum lollipops (they help with nausea, apparently), a $30 organic skin cream for stretch marks (Palmer's cocoa butter is what, like $8 at CVS? And has been working for women since its inception), and a box of 36 King Size Hersheys Milk Chocolate bars because chocolate "is a great pick me up!". So is cocaine, I hear, why don't they just recommend that too?
The belly band and the body pillow both make an appearance, and dental floss as well, which I guess you will need more of if you are indulging in Mac & Cheese, Dum Dums, & Hershey Bars on a regular basis (really though, because of hormone irregularities, pregnant women are at higher risk of gingivitis and need to have good oral hygiene). These are more benign suggestions. But I really hope not too many women take articles like these as license to do things that might be harmful to themselves in the long run or just cost them a lot of money they don't need to spend.
Always looking at the health standpoint, can't help it.
2.11.2009
Women must be suckers
Part of the beginning of this journey has been a search for information. I've been looking for books, pregnancy fitness DVDs, classes, guidance from insurance company, where to go for maternity clothes when the time comes, what kind of diapers to use... It's an awful lot of decisions to make with very little to make them on but instinct, recommendations, and advertising. So, I do what everyone does, and I google things. I (window) shop on-line. I scroll through page after page of products on Amazon.
I have read all about having an environmentally-friendly pregnancy and child, about "reducing my chemical load" (stop using bleach), I subscribe to BabyCenter updates so I know how big the baby is (about the size of a kidney bean this week), and have purchased 3 DVDs and 2 books about pregnancy fitness. We are signing up for Bradley Method classes starting at the end of May-- sign up now or the class will fill up! I also started a list for myself in Amazon of all the things I might consider buying for the pregnancy and later, for the baby.
At my first prenatal appointment, I asked the midwife if she could recommend a good book for me to read about pregnancy and childbirth. She said no. There was not a single book she thinks is decent. She says they are all designed to frighten pregnant women. She is probably right. I will probably still pick up a book or two, maybe a hand-me-down from someone who has been pregnant recently or something from a used bookstore. But I'm not likely to buy the 13 books I originally put on my Amazon list.
The point of this blog, and the reason why women must be suckers, is that once you get pregnant and start looking into the world of pregnancy and maternity, you find that it is such an industry that feeds off of a woman's (very vulnerable) emotions, the enormity of the event, the desire to be a great mother from the start. It's just like weddings, the other major event for which retailers prey on women. At first, you are in such a panic that it is difficult to figure out what you do & don't need, what you are supposed to do and not do, it is easy to succumb to the pressures of advertising of things that are going to make you and your baby healthier, more comfortable, and happier-- things that will may you perfect.
After a few weeks, though, the nerves have died down. I've stopped obsessively shopping online during work (shh- don't tell) and at home, and I haven't added anything to my Amazon list lately. There are a few things I know I'll need, and I plan to look into those as best as I can. But the rest of it, I am going to put my blinders on and try to ignore it.
There are a couple of question marks for me though with these products. Maybe you can help. I'm not sure if these are actually useful, if they are gimmicks, or if they just depend on the person.
1. A "body band"-- this is supposed to help you hold off longer on getting maternity clothes. The idea is that you don't have to button or zipper your pants. You hold them up with this band and it makes them look smooth under your shirt and you can't tell that they're unbuttoned. Some people swear by this, others think it's stupid. The jury's out.
2. A body pillow-- The current recommendation is that after 14 weeks, you sleep only on your left side. Yeah, right. This pillow is supposed to support your fat belly and help you not roll over onto your back or your right side. While I think that the sleeping on the left side is pretty much bunk, I have slept with a pillow between my knees since high school because it alleviates pressure off your lower back. So this body pillow might be a permanent thing, not just a pregnancy thing. (My midwife's excellent take on the sleeping position issue: "If all it took to end a pregnancy was sleeping on your back, we wouldn't have the abortion rate in this country that we have.")
So, thoughts, suggestions, recommendations for things that no pregnant woman can do without? Stories from the previously pregnant or people who know someone who was pregnant?
I have read all about having an environmentally-friendly pregnancy and child, about "reducing my chemical load" (stop using bleach), I subscribe to BabyCenter updates so I know how big the baby is (about the size of a kidney bean this week), and have purchased 3 DVDs and 2 books about pregnancy fitness. We are signing up for Bradley Method classes starting at the end of May-- sign up now or the class will fill up! I also started a list for myself in Amazon of all the things I might consider buying for the pregnancy and later, for the baby.
At my first prenatal appointment, I asked the midwife if she could recommend a good book for me to read about pregnancy and childbirth. She said no. There was not a single book she thinks is decent. She says they are all designed to frighten pregnant women. She is probably right. I will probably still pick up a book or two, maybe a hand-me-down from someone who has been pregnant recently or something from a used bookstore. But I'm not likely to buy the 13 books I originally put on my Amazon list.
The point of this blog, and the reason why women must be suckers, is that once you get pregnant and start looking into the world of pregnancy and maternity, you find that it is such an industry that feeds off of a woman's (very vulnerable) emotions, the enormity of the event, the desire to be a great mother from the start. It's just like weddings, the other major event for which retailers prey on women. At first, you are in such a panic that it is difficult to figure out what you do & don't need, what you are supposed to do and not do, it is easy to succumb to the pressures of advertising of things that are going to make you and your baby healthier, more comfortable, and happier-- things that will may you perfect.
After a few weeks, though, the nerves have died down. I've stopped obsessively shopping online during work (shh- don't tell) and at home, and I haven't added anything to my Amazon list lately. There are a few things I know I'll need, and I plan to look into those as best as I can. But the rest of it, I am going to put my blinders on and try to ignore it.
There are a couple of question marks for me though with these products. Maybe you can help. I'm not sure if these are actually useful, if they are gimmicks, or if they just depend on the person.
1. A "body band"-- this is supposed to help you hold off longer on getting maternity clothes. The idea is that you don't have to button or zipper your pants. You hold them up with this band and it makes them look smooth under your shirt and you can't tell that they're unbuttoned. Some people swear by this, others think it's stupid. The jury's out.
2. A body pillow-- The current recommendation is that after 14 weeks, you sleep only on your left side. Yeah, right. This pillow is supposed to support your fat belly and help you not roll over onto your back or your right side. While I think that the sleeping on the left side is pretty much bunk, I have slept with a pillow between my knees since high school because it alleviates pressure off your lower back. So this body pillow might be a permanent thing, not just a pregnancy thing. (My midwife's excellent take on the sleeping position issue: "If all it took to end a pregnancy was sleeping on your back, we wouldn't have the abortion rate in this country that we have.")
So, thoughts, suggestions, recommendations for things that no pregnant woman can do without? Stories from the previously pregnant or people who know someone who was pregnant?
2.09.2009
To tell or not to tell, that is the question...
So, karmacomedian's comments on my first post have prompted this follow-up post. I am not sure how he found the blog, because he didn't get the link from me. Karmacomedian is family even if we don't technically share blood, so it doesn't bother me at all to have him reading this. And hey, he was the first person to make a comment! However...
It seems to me that almost every pregnant couple/family struggles over who to tell and when. From my cursory research, people really stress out about this and a lot has been written about it. I don't mind friends knowing, or friends of the family knowing. I know it is still early on, but if anything were to happen, I'd want you all there to lean on while I was grieving anyway. And it's fun to have you all to lean on now while I am still figuring this whole thing out.
The problem, as it is in so many ways, is work. Do you tell right away? Do you wait? I think it all depends on what kind of workplace you are in. I am definitely not at my peak of productivity lately. I have a suspicion that I am not going to get back to my pre-2009 levels of productivity for four or five years. I am in the process of learning to accept that, and the other limitations that this little person is even already putting on me (and she's only around the size of a blueberry!). So it's tempting to tell everyone, get sympathy, and hide behind the pregnancy.
Unfortunately, that's not the kind of workplace that I have. For one thing, all but one manager at my work is a man. In a sense, this is advantageous, because I imagine they would be slightly clueless about the whole thing, having never been through it themselves. On the other hand, there may be a tendency among some to equate pregnancy with temporary incompetence, no matter how good your work has always been and continues to be (it's still good work, it's just done a little slower).
If there's one thing I hate, it's being treated like I'm incompetent when it's something I am good at (and pretty much even if it's something I'm not good at). So, my solution: tell one person at work who I am relatively close to so she can help me think of a cover if I end up having to yak in the wastebasket (thankfully, hasn't happened yet) or passing out (has happened but only at home so far). Tell two people who are very trustworthy and both work from home. I get to have conversations with them over email but can't be overheard talking about it, and they are both people who are very kind, considerate, patient, and helpful. And then wait to tell everyone else until they start wondering aloud what happened to me, which in my office, they will. Weight is a constant conversation at my work-- who's losing, who's already skinny, etc. etc. Someone will inevitably make a comment about me getting out of shape. But until then, the secret is safe on the internet (I hope!).
It seems to me that almost every pregnant couple/family struggles over who to tell and when. From my cursory research, people really stress out about this and a lot has been written about it. I don't mind friends knowing, or friends of the family knowing. I know it is still early on, but if anything were to happen, I'd want you all there to lean on while I was grieving anyway. And it's fun to have you all to lean on now while I am still figuring this whole thing out.
The problem, as it is in so many ways, is work. Do you tell right away? Do you wait? I think it all depends on what kind of workplace you are in. I am definitely not at my peak of productivity lately. I have a suspicion that I am not going to get back to my pre-2009 levels of productivity for four or five years. I am in the process of learning to accept that, and the other limitations that this little person is even already putting on me (and she's only around the size of a blueberry!). So it's tempting to tell everyone, get sympathy, and hide behind the pregnancy.
Unfortunately, that's not the kind of workplace that I have. For one thing, all but one manager at my work is a man. In a sense, this is advantageous, because I imagine they would be slightly clueless about the whole thing, having never been through it themselves. On the other hand, there may be a tendency among some to equate pregnancy with temporary incompetence, no matter how good your work has always been and continues to be (it's still good work, it's just done a little slower).
If there's one thing I hate, it's being treated like I'm incompetent when it's something I am good at (and pretty much even if it's something I'm not good at). So, my solution: tell one person at work who I am relatively close to so she can help me think of a cover if I end up having to yak in the wastebasket (thankfully, hasn't happened yet) or passing out (has happened but only at home so far). Tell two people who are very trustworthy and both work from home. I get to have conversations with them over email but can't be overheard talking about it, and they are both people who are very kind, considerate, patient, and helpful. And then wait to tell everyone else until they start wondering aloud what happened to me, which in my office, they will. Weight is a constant conversation at my work-- who's losing, who's already skinny, etc. etc. Someone will inevitably make a comment about me getting out of shape. But until then, the secret is safe on the internet (I hope!).
2.04.2009
Insomnia and other "symptoms"
I love how they call them "symptoms" of pregnancy, as if it were an illness or disease. Just another reminder that the medical field has been dominated & defined by men.
But in any case, the signs of pregnancy hit apparently before I even knew I was pregnant-- that's why my friend made me take the test. I took the nap of all naps. She called me in the middle and I never heard the phone. I ALWAYS hear the phone, even if I ignore it. This time, I honestly never even heard it.
Once I knew I was pregnant, a few weird things I had been experiencing made more sense, most of all the fatigue. But the signs didn't become really pronounced until last week. I have been fortunate so far to follow in my mother's footsteps and avoid the so-called "morning sickness", which plagued everyone I know all day long. Dizziness has been my real problem so far. I have to be very careful whenever I stand up and I usually get a headrush. Food has been ok but a little weird. At first, I wanted to eat fish all the time; every day I wanted fish for lunch, fish for dinner. Maybe I had a mercury deficiency. The first week after we found out, we were doing a sort-of "cleansing" where we were eating only whole grains, no wheat, lots of green leafys and other veg, and only chicken breast or fish. I felt great when we were doing that. Then we went back to eating regular and I have been craving cold food (salads and hummus and such), which is not typical for me. Over the past three days, the smell of any kind of meat cooking-- chicken, fish, or steak-- makes me feel gross and I can barely choke it down. I'm going to have to start just eating salad all the time. Rabbit food. Yum.
The other big problem has been insomnia but I am not sure if that is actually a physiological change because of the pregnancy or just anxiety. :) I didn't sleep for the first three days after we found out. Since then I mostly sleep but wake up three or four times a night and have crazy dreams. I've had insomnia a couple of other isolated nights since that first week, but I've also slept for 10 or 11 hours straight other nights. It's pretty inconsistent.
VH has been fantastic so far-- doing laundry without me asking (which can be a mixed blessing but is much appreciated), cooking dinner every night which I then only pick at, coming over and helping me up when I stand up and then just sit down on the floor to avoid falling over from the headrush. I just hope he doesn't get tired of it too soon! This is the best part so far!
Also, some pictures at 5 weeks. They're really unattractive, but whatever. I don't think there's much to see yet except how out-of-shape I started. But when I eventually look pregnant, I think it will be fun to look back at how I was at the beginning. For easy reference, I am at 7 weeks as of today. More pictures next week.
2.01.2009
Shock and awe
I know "shock and awe" is usually reserved for bad things like war. But it is really the best way to describe how I felt after that little line appeared on the pregnancy test-- both of them. I remember last year when a really close friend of mine told me she was pregnant. I was thrilled, ecstatic for her. She was obviously happy but looked-- uncomfortable. I never understood that (and of course, never outright told her until recently). Now, I totally get it. My husband (to be known from here forward as VH) and I were actually at her house when we found out. She administered my first pregnancy test, since she had some laying around from the clinic she works at. She and her husband were incredibly excited. VH and I were both, well, stunned. We called our parents. The best I could do with my mom, the first to find out (of course), was "I think I might be pregnant. Or at least, that's what the test says." I wasn't joking. That was really how it felt.
It wasn't like we hadn't planned for this. We've been together for 8 years. We had decided, consciously, that we were ready a few months ago. We had always known that we wanted children and were very open about it. We had been taking steps to be stable in our lives-- resist the temptation to switch jobs, looking to buy a house finally (see future posts on that). But there are just so many questions running through my mind, not knowing what to expect. The first few nights, I hardly slept at all. Now I am sleeping but waking up a lot and having weird dreams. What will I do about maternity leave? I don't get any paid time off for maternity through work, and no short-term disability. How will we pay for childcare? Will I be able to find an OB practice that I like?
All of these things will fall into place, I know. Since the beginning of time, women have been having happy, healthy babies. I'm not the first nor will I be the last. My life changed entirely on January 18th. And will change even more on or around September 24th. I just can't believe it's finally happening for me!
It wasn't like we hadn't planned for this. We've been together for 8 years. We had decided, consciously, that we were ready a few months ago. We had always known that we wanted children and were very open about it. We had been taking steps to be stable in our lives-- resist the temptation to switch jobs, looking to buy a house finally (see future posts on that). But there are just so many questions running through my mind, not knowing what to expect. The first few nights, I hardly slept at all. Now I am sleeping but waking up a lot and having weird dreams. What will I do about maternity leave? I don't get any paid time off for maternity through work, and no short-term disability. How will we pay for childcare? Will I be able to find an OB practice that I like?
All of these things will fall into place, I know. Since the beginning of time, women have been having happy, healthy babies. I'm not the first nor will I be the last. My life changed entirely on January 18th. And will change even more on or around September 24th. I just can't believe it's finally happening for me!
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